The whos, whats and whys of Spinsterhood

Depends who's asking, really. (Don't believe me? Read Donna Jo Napoli's Spinners.) If we ignore "spinster" as an occupational term, Dictionary.com gives us two possible definitions, both of which I rather like: 

1. A woman who has remained single beyond the conventional age for marrying.
2. A single woman.

(By the bye, did you know that when they read the banns in the Church of England - which they still do, in some places at least - the bride-to-be is referred to as "Spinster of this [or some other] Parish"? Cool, huh?)

In my mind, a Spinster is an independent woman of any age who has chosen - maybe for a year, maybe for good - to embrace the single life. Maybe she didn't choose to be single - Lord knows, I would have never got here of my own volition - but she chose to accept it for the time being and even to *gasp* enjoy the freedom it brings. That’s it. Doesn’t mean you’re moving to a convent. Doesn’t mean you hate guys. (Have you seen the OBA Gallery???) A Spinster, simply put, is a woman who reaches a point in life at which there is no potential husband in sight and says, “Okay.” J

Because, let's face it, no young woman with even an ounce of romance in her soul starts out wanting to be single. And I was no different. I had some heartbreaking crushes between the ages of 14 and 22 - no relationships, mind, because I’ve never managed to like a guy who reciprocated the interest - and it wasn’t till I was nearly 23, raising my first puppy and crying because - wait for it - a college sophomore hadn’t returned my call that something finally clicked.

It began as a sort of bitterness, which I suspect is rather typical for the oft-unloved, and gradually evolved into that “Okay” state that I mentioned above. Not that I was running around campaigning for the celibate cause (yet!), but I was pretty happy in my lack-of-a-boyfriend state, thanks in large part to the presence of my beautiful baby rat terrier Lucky, about whom you will inevitably hear more soon. I had her to love and snuggle with and talk to, and that was enough...

...well, almost enough. Because about the time that I decided that Spinsterhood was cool, ALL of my closest friends promptly got engaged. (Really! It got to the point that, upon one of my very best friends calling to say that she had news, I stopped her and asked wearily, “Is it the same thing that everyone else has been calling to tell me?”) You know how that goes. But this time I wasn’t depressed; I was annoyed. Frustrated, even, for I had finally come to terms with my perpetual state of singlehood - and there was no one to share it with! 

So I put together a little e-mail and sent it to every conceivably single female in my address book, inquiring after their current status and whether or not they’d be willing to receive a brief newsletter through which us two or three remaining Spinsters could keep in contact. That group (thirteen girls who either said they were single or didn’t say they weren’t) became the recipients of the very first six-page issue of Spinsters and Lunatics: News and Views for Savvy Singles in January 2004. I included two whole pictures of Orlando Bloom and profiled myself. (How sad is that?)

Today, Spinsters and Lunatics: The Magazine averages about 11 pages and includes lots more goodies (media reviews, OBA stats, quotes to make ya laugh). Hopefully, before too long it will be glossy, professionally printed and have an OBA on the cover. But till that happens, we’re gonna need all the help we can get from all the other Spinsters out there!